Unity Ceremony

Different ways to represent your new family

Every couple wants to make your wedding ceremony uniquely yours to represent your union and your own personalities. Integrating a unity ceremony into your wedding is a great way to do this.

History of the Unity Ceremony

The unity ceremony is grounded in Christian faith. A bride and groom would each light their own candle. Those candles would then be used to light a third middle candle which represented forming their own family. This is based on Matthew 19: 4-6 which states: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

This began to transform in the 1960s and involved the mothers of both the bride and groom. This was a great opportunity to involve more people in the wedding ceremony and create symbolism of each of the two families. The couple would then use each of the two candles to light the single unity candle.

Now, in addition to the unity candle, there are a whole host of unity ceremony ideas. Let’s look at a few.

Releasing a Wish Lantern

My grandchildren would jump at this idea! If you’ve seen the movie Tangled, then you know these lanterns well. They are paper lanterns with a flame inside that float into the sky. You are supposed to make a wish as the lantern is released. If you are considering this option, be sure to reach out to your venue to be sure it is permitted.

Lasso Unity Ceremony

In Mexican and Catholic weddings, a lasso or rope is placed over the couple’s shoulders in a figure eight shape after exchanging vows. This is done to symbolize their eternal union. Some couples use a flower garland that is beautiful and fragrant for this ceremony. This is a special item that can be saved after the unity ceremony as a beautiful memento.

Handfasting

This tradition dates back to 7000 B.C.. Handfasting usually involves a braided cord, ribbon, or rope that is then wrapped around the couples hands. This binds the hands together representing that they are one. This has become more popular in religious ceremonies in recent years as a unique way to represent their union.

Pouring sand

This is a super fun way to represent each of your lives before and how your new family will look. Many people use this idea for beach weddings but it can work anywhere. The bride and groom each have unique colors of sand that they pour into a single vessel. It’s a nice gesture when there are children who are a part of the new family unit to include them with their own color of sand in this ceremony.

Braiding Unity Ceremony

This ceremony is based on Ecclesiastes 4:12 which states, “…a triple braided cord is not easily broken.” The couple will take 3 strands and braid them. One strand represents the groom, the second the bride, and the third is God. This supports the idea that a Christian marriage is a covenant with God. As the two of you grow closer together while focused on your relationship with Christ, you also grow closer to Him.

Planting a tree

With our beautiful outdoor space, I have to mention this ceremony. The couple plants a tree together which they will be able to watch grow during their marriage. As the tree ages and endures strong wind, heavy rain, and times of drought, it gets stronger. This is so similar to the story of your marriage. As you endure trials and tribulations your marriage will grow stronger.

There are so many beautiful options to represent your new family during your wedding ceremony. I’d love to discuss your ideas. If you are still looking for a wedding venue for your 2023 or 2024 wedding, please consider The Carriage House. I love meeting couples and getting to know each of you as you plan your wedding and reception.  

All my best,

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