You spent months or years dating, and he popped the question. Now it’s time to plan your wedding. You want to have a day that is uniquely yours. This day will celebrate your love and the union of your family. It will be one of the few times in your life that all of your friends and family are in a single place. Planning a day like this can be overwhelming, but following a checklist will make it more manageable.
Many engagements are a year or more. I’m going to start a timeline a year from your big day, but know that you can condense the schedule when needed.
Start with determining your budget. Understanding the funds you have available to plan the event will help you with the rest of your planning. If family members are contributing to the budget. Sit down together to talk about what that contribution will look like.
The next big task is to make a guest list. Think about if you want a larger wedding or a smaller, more intimate affair. There isn’t a wrong answer–it’s whatever is right for you as a couple. If parents are contributing toward your budget, you will likely want to give them some spots on the guest list. Consider that as you are putting the list together. Think about groups of people: friends, extended family, etc. If you invite a few people in a specific group, do you need to invite others in that group? Will you invite plus ones? As you are making your guest list, you will also think about whether or not you want kids to attend. Whatever you decide, try to be consistent.
You’ll need to next decide what type of wedding day you want. Do you want something formal, chic, garden inspired, etc? Having this idea will help you to select a wedding planner this month, if you so choose. It will also help you make a list of wedding venues that you want to consider. And it will inspire your wedding dress and decor.
About a year out is a great time to select a wedding venue. This allows you a better chance to get your choice of dates. That said, we have plenty of brides that secure The Carriage House as a wedding venue within 6 months of their date. Planning a wedding on a shorter timeline works for couples who are more flexible in their date and details.
As soon as you select a venue, pick your caterer! Don’t skip a beat on this step. Some venues have preferred caterers and you want to be sure you can grab them while their calendar has availability. When interviewing caterers, you want to have an idea of the type of food service you prefer. Are you wanting a plated dinner or buffet line? Do you have certain foods that you want to include? Some caterers will even reproduce family recipes. Ask all the questions. I once had a wedding planner tell a couple to feature some of their favorite foods at their wedding. This makes sense; this day is all about you as a couple. So if you love deviled eggs, have deviled eggs during cocktail hour! Or if you think fried chicken is a gift from God himself, serve it for dinner or have a miniature version of chicken and waffles as an appetizer. Be creative during catering conversations.
Last month you set an overall theme. This month, narrow down your selection a bit more by picking your colors. This will impact the bridal parties attire, the flowers, the decor and tablescapes, and even the invitations. Pinterest is a great place to start for inspiration. As you’re doing this, begin putting together an overall idea for the design of the wedding and reception.
Hire vendors this month! Popular photographers book up well in advance. Other important vendors include the DJ or musicians and videographer. If you are looking at doing anything special like a food truck or photo booth, look into these as well. You want to make sure you don’t wait too long to book your preferred vendors.
This is such a fun month! Go try on dresses! It’s important to do this in advance to allow plenty of time for your dress to come in and then have time for alterations. Most dressmakers recommend you buy the dress no later than 9 months from your big day. As you are trying on dresses, think about your theme and your venue. What style gown is going to go along with your plans? What is going to be comfortable that day? I’ve had lots of brides tell me that they picked a dress that was unlike what they originally pictured. Try on multiple different styles and have fun with the process. You will find the one that is perfect for you.
Select a hotel for a wedding block. Work with the hotel local to the wedding and reception to have a rate set for your wedding guests. The hotel will block a predetermined amount of rooms that your guests can book at the special rate. This makes it easier on your guests as they don’t have to search for the best hotel location when they may not know the area well.
Create your wedding website. Many couples give a bit of their love story, name their wedding party, provide hotel block information, directions for the wedding and reception, and a link to their registry on their website. Having all the information in one place, makes it easier on your guests.
If you are taking engagement photos, this is a great time to do them. This isn’t a task that has to be done this month. Maybe you want to wait a couple months for a snowy background. Or maybe you are waiting for the sunflowers to bloom. In April, I talked about engagement photos. This is a fun photo session to celebrate your love, and our bridal couples are welcome to use our estate for this photo session.
Start looking at wedding invitations this month as well. Invitations are the first impression of your wedding event. If you plan to design custom invitations, now is a good time to start working with a designer. For a more standard selection, you can wait until closer to 6 months out to order your invitations. Be sure to be sensitive to any supply and shipping issues.
Send save the dates. It’s not time to send invitations yet, but you want to get your wedding on all of your loved ones calendars. This will help your guests to plan vacations and other events around the date so that they can be sure to be there to support you. Everyone who gets a save the date will get a wedding invitation closer to the actual event.
Select bridesmaid dresses. Having a day where your close girlfriends can try on dresses is a fun outing and allows you to think about how styles fit different body types. If you are having the bridesmaids order from a specific set of dresses, pick these out and get them ordered. For bridesmaids that may be pregnant, have them talk to the store where you are ordering dresses to understand a firm cutoff date. It’s sometimes difficult to plan for changing bodies, but these stores see these types of scenarios often and can provide guidance.
Image Caption: Photo by: Kelsey Young Photography
Meet with potential florists. Ask your venue and friends for recommendations. Show your inspiration to these florists. Be sure to discuss your budget and the look you are trying to accomplish.
Now is a great time to be looking into your rehearsal dinner venue. Some couples use The Carriage House for that event since many of those who attend the dinner will be here for your rehearsal. Know that is an option.
This month you should also book the paid participants of your ceremony. Book your officiant. Some clergy ask that you participate in premarital counseling. This will give you ample time to prepare for your marriage. If you desire to have any musicians as part of your ceremony, book those as well.
We’ve had several couples rent additional furniture, a dance floor, linens, and much more. Schedule these items to make sure you get the pick of the inventory. Most rental companies will deliver making this process very simple.
Image Caption: Photo by: The Ray’s Red Roof Photography
Schedule your premarital counseling. This step is an investment in your marriage. Counseling helps as you prepare to come together as a family. You will make decisions differently once married. Everything from joint finances, preparing for growing a family, communication, and much more will be covered in these sessions.
Book wedding day transportation. This includes everything from bridal party transportation before the ceremony, to transportation to the reception if your ceremony and reception are at different locations, your getaway car, and even transportation for your guests if you desire. As for the getaway car, pick something that is uniquely you. Maybe that’s a tandem bike, a limo, or a vintage car. Have fun with it!
Image Caption: Photo by: Ashley Spangler Photography
Earlier in the process, the wedding dress was purchased. Now it’s time to rent or buy the groom and his groomsmen’s tuxedos. This could be a formal classic black tuxedo, a navy suit, or somewhere in the middle. You can personalize the look with a special shirt and tie. Be sure each gentleman is measured for his piece so that his tux or suit fits perfectly.
And now for the most fun part…plan the honeymoon! You are going to appreciate having time to decompress and spend time with your new spouse after the wedding. Look at your calendar and see how much time you can take and what your budget is for the trip. If you are looking for a cruise or a resort stay, it might be worth contacting a travel agent. Travel agents can often help their clients get upgrades or additional perks and guess what–their services are usually free! It cannot hurt to inquire to see your options.
You’ve selected your caterer, but ideally you want to taste the food before the big day. If you have narrowed down your menu, you can taste some of the options with your caterer. You can add feedback for any customized menu items. This allows you to nail down the menu and align your caterer to your overall vision.
The other food item: pick your cake. This step is pure torture because who loves to taste cakes?! I know I do!! Taste cakes, select your baker, and outline your design. When looking for a cake baker, talk to friends and family. They may be able to suggest a baker. Another option is to consider some of the grocery stores. I’ve seen them make some gorgeous cakes. Make sure whomever is baking your cake can deliver it. You don’t want to run the risk of a loved one accidentally ruining your cake when they pick it up for you.
You want to order your wedding bands this month. That allows you ample time to have them customized and engraved. Some couples use family heirlooms as their wedding bands, other couples want their rings to match, and others simply pick out the piece that is perfect for each person. There isn’t a wrong approach; this is all about you as a couple and what is right for you.
Image Caption: Photo by: Emily Elizabeth Portraits
About 3-4 months out is a good time for the bride to have trial hair and makeup. Some brides wait til a little bit closer to the big day and use this day to also get their bridal portraits done. Bridal portraits often have to be done close to the wedding date as the wedding gown alterations need to be completed.
Many couples do guest favors. Planning these in advance will allow you time to put them together and personalize them for your big day. You want to make everyone feel appreciated for being there to support you.
Image Caption: Photo by: Simply Stated
Start thinking about your ceremony. Do you want readings? If so, what would those be? Who will do them? Do you want to write your own vows? If so, start this process. Think about the flow of your ceremony.
2-3 months before the wedding, schedule your first dress fitting. Wedding dress tailors service a lot of brides. They need ample time to custom fit your dress to your body.
Send out invitations. Wedding invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. RSVPs are included in the invitation and are due about 1 month before the event. Many couples are choosing to do RSVPs online. This deadline allows you ample time to follow up with people you may not hear from.
Rehearsal dinner invitations also need to go out. This will help the wedding party and other loved ones or out of town guests to plan for the wedding weekend. If they are having to travel, they can be sure to be there for all of the events you are planning.
Final planning with vendors happens this month. Tie off with your florist. Understand each of the arrangements and if needed, request a mock up. Provide a song list to your DJ or musicians.
Buy wedding party gifts. Make sure these gifts are thoughtful and personalized for each of the recipients.
Walk through the details. Do you want programs? If so, get those printed. Purchase or make table numbers for the reception. Do you need to buy a cake topper? Are you using sparklers for the sendoff? If so, order those. Think through each little detail and buy all of those pieces this month. You don’t want to wait until the last minute and items not arrive due to a shipping delay.
In Tennessee, the marriage license is good for 30 days. So during this last month is when you should acquire the license to make your wedding official.
Write all the checks. Make sure all of your vendors are paid in full from your photographer, to caterer, rental company, officiant, etc. Any cash tips you intend to provide, put those in envelopes to be handed out at the day of your wedding.
Create a seating chart. This is a time consuming exercise but your guests will appreciate it. When a reception doesn’t have a seating chart, the first guests to arrive will spread out. Then when the wedding party or close family arrive, they won’t be able to sit with others they know. Once you have finalized your seating chart, create escort cards or a sign for your guests so that they will know where to sit for the reception.
Have a final venue walkthrough. I love doing this with couples. We talk about the flow of the day and each detail. I make sure to answer any questions so that your day will go smoothly.
Once you’ve accomplished all the big tasks, then it’s time to enjoy your wedding week. Get pampered so that you feel your prettiest. Pack for the honeymoon. Load up any decorations in your car in advance. Enjoy the time with friends and family that traveled in for your nuptials. And have fun. I love seeing couples make a commitment to each other and starting a life together. And I love the celebration of their love. If you are looking to plan a wedding in East Tennessee, please reach out to me. Our estate at The Carriage House is beautiful all throughout the year. I’d love to give you a tour and see if we are a good fit for your vision.
All my best,